Hamlet's Blog: To be or Not To Be (Post #2)

I was right!!!!

I WAS RIGHT!!!!

Oh, my prophetice soul! I can seeee the FUTURE!!!!

I saw the ghost last night. I went with Horatio and two random soldiers out onto the battlements to wait for it and at midnight...

it came.

(cue dramatic music) Dundundundun...

But--

--first, Horatio and the two dumb guards all whined and moaned that it was cold. Wusses. Then we talked about my dad and how he was so valiant and so strong and how he kicked Fortinbras' fat butt back to Norway... *sob, sob* I really miss you daddy.

And then...

(cue dramatic music) Dundundundun...

The GHOST came.

Tadaah!!!

This is how the ghost looked like:

Horatio and the two dumb guards tried to stop me from seeing the ghost but I ran off and they couldn't follow me. Seriously people, what kind of guards are these, cannot even run after some crazy fella like me? No wonder something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

And as for the ghost... it was my father. It looked like him and spoke like him and wore his armour... I'm sure it was him, not some evil demon who wants to mislead me. And my poor daddy... he has to suffer in purgatory where he will pay for his sins. My poor daddy *sniff sniff*. But I still love you daddy...

Yeah, anyway, he's gonna be stuck there for a while. And he's pissed at Uncle Claud because he killed him. While he was asleep. In the garden. Apparently Uncle Claud killed him by pouring poison in his ears. Ew...

And Uncle Claud is a wuss. A craven hearted coward. CAn't he fight my father face to face for the throne? How dare he call himself a man if he cannot fight another man face to face in a duel, instead of poisoning people.

COWARD!!!!!

And he's also very sad because mum married Uncle Claud. But he made me promise not to hurt her because it will be God who will punish her for being unfaithful and incestuous. Besides, it's not gentlemanly to hit a girl/woman.

Here's my daddy again:

So in the end, I promised my daday that I will take revenge for him. That I will avenge his death. That Uncle Claud will die for his treachery.

And then daddy disappeared. Waaaah!!! *sob sob* Daddy... will I ever see you again? *sniffles*

Finally, Horatio and the two dumb guards caught up. They said they gout lost or something. So stupid one, this people. What lah, here also can get lost! Why I speaking in Manglish, one?

Ahem-hem.

I made them swear on my sword to never speak of this incident again or I will hunt them down and kill them (muahaha!!) They didn't want to do so, at first, but then daddy did his spooky voice and scared them so much that they did as I ordered them to (and I think that one of the dumb guards --Marcellus, I think-- pissed his pants). And then, I told Horatio about my ingenius plan.

I will...

(cue dramatic music) Dundundundun...

PRETEND TO BE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

It's an amazing plan! I'm a genius! Praise me everyone!!!!

I! AM! AWESOME!!!!!

And as for you, Uncle Claudius...

be afraid, be very afraid....

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

REVENGE WILL BE MINE...

Your Royal emo-ness,
Prince Hamlet

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Note from Simone: Shakespeare was a real dirty b*#@ %^+.

Check out here to see how many dirty jokes he put in his plays: dirty old Shakespeare.

Have a nice weekend!