Hamlet's Blog: To Be or Not To Be (Part 3 aka The Really Gay PL2 Part)

Author's Note: May contain mentions of incest, gayness and what looks like attempted rape. Reader discretion is adviced.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hamlet.

All the rights go to Shakespeare. Maybe. Depends on whether he really wrote the play. And he himself plagiarized someone else. Hmmph. Some example you are, Mr Goncang Lembing.

Any events, persons or objects mentioned here are entirely coincidental and any resemblence to any persons, living or dead, is unintentional. As is any offense cause.

And one more thing: This is entirely FICTIONAL. Seriously, who is as emo as Hamlet?

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Hamlet here. Today...

Today... I set part one of my plan into action. And it went really well.

As previously wrote. I was going to pretend to be mad. Yes, that's right, madly in love. Love is in the aaaaiiiiirrrrrrr!!! (Hey, I'm pretending to be mad, okay? What if Uncle Claud reads this blog?)

Anyway, so I entered Ophelia's room while she was sewing (even though I'm not allowed inside a ladies room, so what, I'm mad). And in order to look really, really, really mad, my shirt was all undone and my hair was messy and my tights (Yeah, so I wear tights. So what? We all wore tights those days.) were torn and sliding down my legs. In order to look all weak and pathetic I cut my wrist in the bathroom again before this and then I asked Horatio to push me down the hill. In a nutshell, I looked like shit.

That's me. I'm the man.

Ophelia of course was all, *high pitched voice* "Omigosh, omigosh, Hamlet, darling, what's wrong, what happened to you, Hammy baby?"

But I didn't say anything, though I really wanted to slap her. Or kiss her. Or both. Whatever. I just grabbed her hard by the wrist and pushed her against the wall (Oy, I wasn't going to do anything to her, okay. Gosh, you people have a very sick mind.)

Hey baby, nice to see ya.

And then I just stared at her and stared at her and stared at her.... I think she was scared.

This is so totally not gay. Seriously!!

Gay? This? You call two guys looking like they're gonna make out gay? Seriously, man, what's wrong with you?

And then I sighed. And walked away while starring at her all the while.

Yeah, I really think I scared her. I hope she won't be mad at me. Or reject me. Well, she does, I still have Horatio.

Me proposing to Horatio last summer (ignore the curious bystander). He rejected it because he caught me kissing Ophelia the day before. Love is cruel...

Anyway, my plan worked so far. I'm sure Ophelia wil go and tell her father about this. I will work my way up and soon... Claudius will be mine!!!!!! Muahahahahaha!

His Royal Evilness and Emo-ness,

Prince Hamlet of Denmark

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Any gayness is intended. Photos are posed by models. Nothing dirty took place, guaranteed. Faces blacked out to protect privacy.

Have a nice day!

Good luck for exams!!!